A sunrise in life - Jibon W. Gomez
 |
A sunrise in life - Jibon W. Gomez
Every child has the right to born safely in health, untroubled and natural environment of this earth. But I did not get this opportunity.
|
I was born in the toilet. 4 days before of my birth, my mother was in travail and she was taken to the sister's dispensary of our Bonpara parish. Sisters were worried about her normal delivery as she had a surgical operation before and they decided to take her to hospital for caesarian operation.
Before starting for hospital, mother went to toilet and before understanding anything, after entering of the toilet I took birth; I fell to the ground of the toilet; mother tried her best but could not save me from injury. As a result, my head was cut about two inches in width and depth after being hit extremely with the edge of brick-built floor around the pan. That caused injury at the upper right side of my brain. For this I become the victim of physical disability and the left side of my body was the most hurt and injured. According to the doctors, there was a possibility my being intellectual disabled. But the mercy of God and according to His plan I am not victim of that. This is, in brief, the painful history of my birth. Behind this there remains another large, tragic and above all a struggling history of my mother, but I do not want to irritate the respectable readers by bringing that story at beginning. I just want to say that, after her tragic history life my mother named me- 'Jibon' (which means 'life').
From the very beginning of my life I knew that I have no value in the world as I disabled. Because surrounding environment and social negative attitude taught me to think like this. I was eldest of the two children. I was the only son of parents, so they were highly anxious and worried about my as well as their future. After watching my disability, they tried of the ways of treatment that they found- let it be medical treatment, physical therapy, exercise, ayurvedic treatment- everything although they had financial limitation. They become deeply frustrated when there were no expected result from hundreds of efforts, exertion, money and time - even after a lot of sacrifice and forbearance. They lost their strength to fight and began to think their life no longer had any purpose. In spite of a lot of pains sorrow, my mother could adjust herself with my being disability but my father could never. He suffered by thinking me as 'pressurized cross from Jesus placing upon his shoulder' and still does. His contacts with mother were made up of tensions and indifference at the same time and started to break.
Father took me to Dhaka when my age was about one and half or two years for better treatment and kept a girl, one of my cousins, a far relative to look after me, But after about one and half year of treatment he sent me back to village home to my mother.
When I was growing up, I easily understood the difference between other children and me. I used to feel a deep pain in my little heart when I saw my two years younger sister Kushum running to and for and playing. My parents bought books and exercise books for me when I was 4/5 years old. I learnt to read and write very easily. My mother decided to get me admitted when she watched my interest in education, but in that time I couldn't sit on my own. So she kept a teacher at home. When I completed lesson of class KG I, with suggestion of one of my sister-in-law mother admitted me in class II of the St. Joseph's Primary School of our parish. Everyday mother used to take me to school - me in her lap by one hand a three-wheel baby cycle in another and after breaking school she came to take back me at home in the same way. My father carried all of my accompanying expenses.
When I want to High School father bought me a small bicycle and kept a person to take to school. I continued my education in spite of my disability. Mother, father, teacher - everyone encouraged me for continuing my study. I did not have any difficulty in learning or remembering lessons. Mother began to dream about my being successful. But I noticed the thing; father used to hive me everything but kept a distance from me. For example, while going somewhere or in any new environment he kept distance during my presence. During the time of his return home from Dhaka, I used to wait from morning when would be come; when he came sister went to him running and he cared her; I only used to see from far away as I could not go to him, often he looked at me smiled a little, most of time I did not get even that. As a result pleasure of waiting became suffering. Still I fell sad for father's affection.
During this time, ignoring the belief and rules of Christianity, for the sake of future security father took the second wife - the lady who took care of me during my treatment at Dhaka. I was hurt and I felt guilty as this happened because of disability. Then I came to Dhaka after passing SSC in first division in 1992. I got admitted in science group in Natre Dame College, I was hurt hearing this as he took it as humanity but not a duty as father. After all, I thank him and am grateful to him for this. I was in village for a long time and returned to Dhaka, just one month before the final exam. I sat for exam but for the first time in my life I got the experience of failure.
I became extremely weak psychologically. A few friends gave me support and encouraged me but many of them went away. Both mother and father tried to keep me mentally strong. I sat for the exam again nest year and passed in second division. After exam I received training on some package programs of computer from a computer training centre.
During this period, I received some blessings of God. The organization, in which now I am working for, stood beside me. SARPV- Bangladesh is a local NGO working for the development of the persons with disability. Somehow I found their address and communicated with them. Their Field Supervisors started to communicate with me since 1993. Their sincere motivation helped my to reduce my frustration and sufferings. They invited me to have training during that time for my self-development. But because of my college classes I could not get the training but I had regular communication with them. In 1995 when I was doing my graduation in Science, I Joined SARPV as a member of Student Forum. We used to sit once in two month's time and discussed our problems. Then I came to know many other parsons with disability.
My life continued like this. After giving B.Sc. Exam from Tejgaon College at the end of 1997, I went to SARPV- Bangladesh for computer training. After doing a good result in computer, they asked me of what I want to be in life. I found that I can only be a teacher or can do something with computer. I decided to be the latter and wanted to develop myself as a trainer. They are developing me with sincerity, love and care. Now I am working as Computer Trainer in SARPV Computer & Publications. I arranged for training at home also with the computer that father gave me. With the computer, I am giving training at home also and earning extra money, which I am sending to my mother. Thus now I am totally self-dependent. Then, I started study in M.Sc. in psychology. So I am now very busy in my daily life. Within this busy schedule, with the experience of my own life I like to do something for disabled sisters-brothers - want to encourage them with my story of life - for the development of lighted life of expectation from the frustrated dark stage. But for this everyone who are interested have to come forward and should have the will to do and give something for others.
At the end, I like to say that today I am happy with my disability. It is not any obstacle rather a blessing. I would not understand the perception of life if I was not disabled - I might be disabled in some other way than physically disabled - which might be greater and more terrible disability.
